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May. 21st, 2014


i never learn

Last year I went camping on Memorial day weekend. The experience became known as the trip to the island of Doom. It rained a lot and the temperatures plummeted to below 40 at night.
This year... I'm doing it again. And the weather forecast has been getting progressively worse since Monday with one unchanging factor - on Memorial day, the day we leave the island, it will be sunny, warm and beautiful. Same as last year.

May. 12th, 2014


Public service announcement

I am planning to pack up and put away my winter clothes and bring out my summer wardrobe sometime today. Expect a polar vortex tomorrow.

Apr. 7th, 2014


that weird smell...

...is coming from New Jersey!


When I woke up and smelled something like a fire I thought my neighbors were burning candles or something. Then when I left the house and still smelled it, I thought it was the landfills of Staten Island burning. When I still smelled smoke once I was in the city I thought maybe I'm going crazy or something really massive is on fire. Alas, it's just New Jersey.

Jan. 28th, 2014


Музыкой навеяло...

...или что случилось в Африке

disclaimer: contains somewhat x-rated materialCollapse )

Dec. 26th, 2013


Channeling anger

My new ginormous rug has arrived. The incident that caused me to purchase it still haunts me (see http://a-lazy-legend.livejournal.com/112045.html). My internal turmoil formed itself into new words for an old song I've been playing a lot recently. If you know the song, you may find this amusing, if not you may find it disturbing.

Тот кто раньше с нею былCollapse )

Dec. 9th, 2013


Rage shopping

Was practicing guitar this evening and my downstairs neighbor once again starts banging on her ceiling and yelling that I don't have carpets. Fact: my living room is 11x18. Fact: my living room rug is 5x8. Technically this does not meet the 85% coverage, so she has a case. The spiteful, bat-shit crazy, bitch-monster harpy has a case.
Now, I adhere to a strict deadline for guitar practice - I stop at 10pm the latest. Also, generally I'm a very quiet considerate neighbor. Neither of these facts has earned me enough good will credit to be able to practice guitar in peace. So, I threw a hissy fit... which consisted of me placing an order for the biggest rug I could find. This impulsive shopping exercise cost me over a grand. Was it rash and ill-considered? Maybe. But I believe I picked the best alternative. My other choices included poisoning the bitch with ricin or moving...

Oct. 31st, 2013


Zen and the art of nyc commuting

On my ride to work this morning a couple was standing in front of the doors of the subway car. They stood there for as long as I was on the train. The side of the car on which the doors open on every single stop for most of the train route. As I exited the train on my stop I did NONE of the following (a) shove them with my shoulder, (b) give them a dirty look, (c) tell them to move the fuck out of my way. Is this maturity?

Oct. 20th, 2013


Any given Sunday

It was a beautiful day. And we had great seats to the game. I borrowed a camera with a nice zoomy lens. Got some great pictures (https://plus.google.com/photos/107200851308295967567/albums/5937006430952195121?authkey=COS3vM3gufSqbg). The cheerleaders were lovely. I had a good beer. Got a cookie... Then the Patriots found a way to break my heart once again.

Oct. 10th, 2013



After a two and a half week long trip I get home and call my mother to update her on my status. I tell her I'm OK, the trip was great, everything went smoothly, lots of fun. She gives the executive summary to my dad:

"Приехала, кушать в доме нечего и уже под нос говорит"

Sep. 16th, 2013


Guess who got a new camera...

...and been pressing buttons like a monkey trying to type

more picsCollapse )

Sep. 7th, 2013


Что такое осень

I know summer's over when:

- my hair doesn't form a halo of frizz around my head
- don't need to keep windows open 24/7
- mailmen switch from shorts to pants
- i need to wear socks inside
- straw purse no longer goes with my outfits
- Starbucks brings back pumpkin spice latte
- ConEd sends out an email assuring me they're ready for the next storm of the century

Jul. 19th, 2013


context is everything

Gmail has a new look now. The inbox is organized into "Primary" tab and others, like "Social" and "Promotions". The icon for the Primary tab is obviously a letter tray. Or at least it was obvious to me at first glance when I was examining the new look with fresh eyes.
At some point yesterday though, when I was daydreaming about the beach I glanced at it again and saw a halter bra. And thus a letter tray will never look the same to me again.

Judge for yourself, what does the first icon look like to you?

May. 30th, 2013


Trademarks and coffee

My favorite place to get coffee is apparently embroiled in some unpleasantness with NY state department of Economic Development:


I'm not really sure how to feel about this. My instinct is to feel sorry for the coffee shop. I don't think they're really stealing or infringing upon the "I heart NY" logo. They're using their own unique variation of it to promote both their business and New York. But their good intentions are clearly irrelevant when it comes to the letter of the law. Some lawyer for the state department feels she has a valid legal case, which she very well may... it's just silly.
Yep, I think I'm going to go with my instinct and side with the coffee shop. They make damn good coffee and have awesome donuts and cookies to boot.

May. 23rd, 2013


Rain and stuff

I'm never so happy just to be sitting inside as when it's pouring, like it just was.
Human-built permanent structures are wondrous things... Camping this weekend seems more and more of a dubious idea by the minute.

May. 12th, 2013



When I was a kid I gave up asking for a dog early on. My dad wanted one, but my mom said it was too much work and being a lazy child I got easily discouraged and sided with her.
My dad never gave up on his dream. One day, when I was in college, he brought home a puppy from his sister's dog's litter and announced that she's staying and that's that. When my mom and I looked at the pretty little blond dog looking at us with her big brown eyes - the very definition of sad puppy face - we didn't have the heart to say no. The dog proceeded to celebrate the occasion of being adopted by peeing all over the living room.
And so, Aya became part of the family. Mom fed her. Brother walked her. I took her to the vet. And dad... played with her when he got home from work. An equitable division of labor.
The first time she ran away was just a few weeks after we got her. It was Saturday. My dad woke me up at the crack of 11am and announced that she's gone, ran from the backyard to the street through the garage, and he plans on getting a new dog. Now it was my turn to be stubborn. That is MY dog! And I'm going to find her. I walked around the neighborhood yelling Aya for an hour. Then I decided to start thinking like my stupid dog who thought only about food. I headed in the direction that smelled vaguely of fresh baked goods. As I passed one of the houses I saw a family in the front yard playing with my dog. Aya! She ran to me and started jumping up and down at the fence. When they opened it, she ran out, I grabbed her, picked her up and declared that she's my dog and I'm taking her. The woman explained that her son found the dog wondering around in the neighborhood and was so excited to keep her, but they were going to try to post notices around... A likely story. I looked at the kid with the quivering lip with little sympathy. But I faked some. "I'll bring her this way when I'm walking her sometime", I lied. Get your own dog, kid! I carried her all the way to our house. The homecoming was triumphant. I was the hero of the day, the week... the month actually, until she ran away again.

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